8

Wendy's Manager Shot Over Limit On Chili Sauce
Now I love me some Wendy's chili sauce. I've been known to put it on fries, mix it into my ketchup, pour it on baked potatoes... and I get pretty pissed off if they forget to put it in the bag when I ask for it. I might even be tempted to shoot someone over it. Might.

But 10 packets? Who the hell needs that much chili sauce for one meal? That's just craziness.

7

We have a distinct format here. All titles are a number. Nothing less, nothing more. This isn't post #7, it's just 7. See how simple that is? Yet some people keep on trying to stray from the formula.

Over on 1001 Things That Piss Me Off, ol' Whistler Thompson got reprimanded for it already. What's that about taking a class on listening, Jake? Hahaha.

#6 - Pretending I think people are yelling at me when they leave caps lock on in IM

Me - the PAR IDs are no longer assigned to me, so I can't make changes
Manager - THEN JUST REPORT TIME FROM 5/5 AND BEYOND
Me - !!
Manager - sorry CAPS LOCK on. didn't mean to shout

#5 - Discussions overheard from my desk at work, Part 1

Roles
Project Manager 1
Project Manager 2

PM1: "What I need to find out now is, where did this information come from? Do I need to reach out to testing, or the developers?"

PM2: "We're dealing with a Chicken and Egg situation."

PM1: "Which one came first, the Chicken or the Egg?"

PM2: "Well, in this case, it's the Chicken."

PM1: "Okay...Wait...who is the Chicken?"

4

When my son was little, I spent an inordinate amount of time telling him that he musn't get too close to our gas range, because fire was hot and could give him a painful burn. Being one to constantly test limits, he would often creep his hand toward the burner, earning yet another lecture on the dangers of fire and burning oneself. Eventually he learned, and steered clear of the stove.

I also was able instill in him a deep respect for power tools - particularly drills - after constantly warning him about their potential dangers.

So when preschool time rolled around, it really shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that when his teacher announced "class, in 20 minutes we are going to have a Fire Drill," he had a complete nervous breakdown before she could get to the explanation of what a fire drill entailed.

Apparently he imagined some sort of flame throwing power tool of death that was going to "burn them all".

3

People who don't listen to song lyrics. In the hall today, I heard a coworker announce (without a hint of irony) that Billy Idol's "White Wedding" would be played as the first dance at her wedding.

Whoa.

Considering it is a song about, at best, bad choices, and more likely, about a heroin addict falling off the wagon - that might not be the most appropriate choice.

2

"Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr. Shakalu is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach it tae kwon do."

"Yeah, karate monkey... Yeah, that's probably safer..."

1

"Whoa, chill bro... You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here."